1. Prioritize
Sit down and make your list of wedding must-haves in order (gotta have it to could live without it works) and ask him to sit down and write out his. Compare notes - you'll quickly see what elements are going to make your wedding tick.
2. Great advice? Consider the source.
You know you're not supposed to believe everything you read and wedding planning resources come with the same warning. When you read that "great" tip about having an "iPod wedding" consider the hidden motives - was advertising paid by the kind folks at Mac? Had the writer ever attended an iPod wedding???
3. Throw a Great Party
At the end of the day, the best weddings are the best parties. What elements will make your day the most comfortable, the most striking and the most fun? Concentrate on those.
4. Let Friends be Friends
Not substitute wedding pros. In a few rare cases you might save money if your friends perform key roles like photography, entertaining and others. Most of the time, though, it causes heartache, uncomfortable situations, a feeling of obligation instead of expectation and a lot of disappointment. Let your friends show their support as guests and not as stand-in wedding pros.
5. Number Your Respond Cards
You know, those little cards that you include with your invitations so people can RSVP and choose chicken or beef? Sometimes invitees get excited when they are mailing them back and fill them out but forget to include their names. If you've discretely numbered the envelope or the card on the back and the number corresponds to a slot on your invitee list, you'll be able to decode the response without the need to call every person left on the list and ask "did you send back the card?"
6. Control Thy Bridal Party Size
See my earlier post for the specifics, but bridal party members can be costly - make sure you MUST have them at your side before you invite them to wear the monkey suits and unfortunate dresses.
7. Make Labels for Your Florist with the Names of Flower Recipients
Remember that you will not necessarily be the one doling out the bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, etc. on the wedding day and the person who is might not know your Uncle Fred from your Aunt Jo. Make tiny computer or hand-printed labels with the name and relationship of each recipient on them and give them to your florist in advance. You'll know that you've got the right recipient, and the florist will know that they sent the right number of flowers. It's win-win (and incidentally, was a great idea that one of my super-sharp clients improved on this year).
8. Check References
A prime example is when reviewing photographers. The work looks awesome and Mr. or Ms. Photographer are just sweet as pie when you meet them. When it comes to the wedding day, though, you're forced into 12 hours of "just tilt your head a little this way" and "just one more shot". Make sure that the photog's shooting schedule matches your hopes and dreams for the day - ask as many past clients as possible how well they felt services were provided and if they have any suggestions to make it even smoother.
9. When Creating Seating Charts, Dumb it Down
A lot. If things have gone as they normally do, you will have begged your caterer or wedding planner for weeks to give you "just a little more time" to complete your seating chart, escort list or seating list. You're thinking "we don't have to know until the reception, right?" We're thinking "we have a dozen things to do within the confines of the facility agreement and agenda, and now we're re-alphabetizing the place cards because the groom decided to do it at the Bachelor party (not that he was distracted or anything). Make sure the person alphabetizing the cards is sober, has secured them properly so they don't fly away all at once, and has attached both a list organized by table and a list organized alphabetically. The placement of the cards will go faster and your day will be that much better if we aren't playing a pre-reception game of "I found 'Grandma' at Table10!"
10. Believe in Wedding Kharma
Remember that the person you are accusing today of ruining your wedding by announcing that she's suddenly expecting a baby a week before your big day is the same person you're going to want by your side when life throws you the next curve ball. A wedding is a day - real friendship is for life.
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